You Don’t Have to Have the Answers

If you are reading this, you’re probably single like me. And like many of you, I have been through breakups that left me wounded and sidelined. The good news is we’ve been there, done that and are on the up and up. We have been refined by the fire and are newer, wiser beings. Go us!

Yet, in this new chapter with pages dry and blank, we still have a pressing question...

Now what? 

You might be happily single and not looking to add another human to the picture. After all, it is nice to pick up and leave whenever you feel like it, and eat cereal for every meal because you can. You could be swiping on dating apps but haven’t taken the plunge yet. Still, isn’t it refreshing to see so many fish still in the sea? You might be experiencing awkward first date after awkward first date. Or at long last, you might be seeing someone who’s turning out to be pretty special. 

No matter your status, you’ve likely experienced the anxiety that comes with deciding to dive back into a relationship. You might be asking:

  • Am I ready to date?

  • Can I trust her/him?

  • How will I know I won’t get my heart broken again?

  • Is this the person I see myself spending the rest of my life with?

That last one is downright scary! The pressure of these questions can feel like a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up your next relationship, and your heart. But, what if you didn’t have to have all of the answers? 

Here are three things to remember in this season of ‘maybe':

You aren’t a fortune teller. Be honest, how many hours have you spent imagining scenario after scenario that either end in happily ever after or going up in flames? Me too. We’ve got to stop it! We can’t know for sure the outcome of any relationship we enter into. All we can do is consider the present. So, look in front of you...look at things like their decision making, their priorities, their habits and all of the things that make up a person’s character. This is what to pay attention to in the present. 

You are already complete. It’s the truth. You don’t need to be in a relationship to be whole. A significant other should help you become a better version of yourself, but don’t think who you are now can’t stand on his/her own two feet. Contrary to what you might think, you don’t have to be perfect in order to find your person. We will never be the final version of ourselves! There is plenty more learning and growing to do once we’re in a relationship, so find peace in this season.

You are worth waiting for. Forget about finding The One for a second, and let’s have a moment of self empowerment. You are a catch! You are beautifully and wonderfully made. And you were bought for a price. I know you’ve heard this from extended family before, but do you really believe it? Make this truth the basis of your decision making. We all deserve to be in the happiest, healthiest relationship. Settling for someone who doesn’t honor you is a shame. You are worth waiting for. 

You may not have all of the answers right now, and that’s okay. One day at a time.

What season of life are you in right now? What have you learned along the way? Tell us in the comments below!